Family History

   So the attorney I work for is going to speak at a local chapter of DAR, that's Daughter's of the American Revolution, and it got me to thinking. I know I have an ancestor, probably more, who fought in the American Revolution so why haven't I tried to find them and join this amazing group.  Well b/c I'm thinking this I figure I'll do some research and ask my dad to help me out. And I will heck my dad's the one that has done all kinds of research on his dad's side of the family and is now working on my grandmother's side. 
   Finding out where you come from is so interesting to me. I mean to personally know where you ancestors are from and what kind of blood flows through your veins is just amazing. I know some people don't really care or they don't have the resources to look for the ancestors which is really a shame b/c I think everyone should know where they stem from and where their families have been no matter who they are or what they do.  There are websites that one can research and find this information out on but in order to do so you have to pay money (which I understand helps maintain the site and pay the researchers and yada yada) but there should be some way to help those less fortunate find out about their personal history. Its just a thought b/c I personally can't afford to do the research on my family right now which is why I am relying on my dad.
   Anyway, I figure that joining DAR will give me contacts that I would never have otherwise and maybe open some doors for me teaching wise.  It'll be interesting to see. Gotta get on the horn to dad! :)

Hotty Toddy!
Court :)

Bullying/Depression

   You know I don't understand bullying. I mean I know what it is, I was bullied when I was younger, or made fun of I should say.  What I mean is I don't understand why certain children and even adults feel the need to bully others.  Is this need ingrained in them from their parents? Do they need to bully others to feel better about themselves? See this is what I don't understand, how can putting someone else down make you feel better? The sad thing is, this happens everyday and everywhere and in some cases is completely overlooked. Children are picked on b/c they are different, whether it be because they look different, behave differently, speak differently or are just the new kid in school. So how do we fix this problem that has been around for decades and is rapidly growing?
    I understand what it's like to be the new kid at school and not fit in. When I was in the sixth grade my family moved from Jackson, MS to Byram, MS which is a suburb of Jackson.  This was a HUGE change for me b/c I had gone to the same school with the same kids my whole life. Those kids lived around the corner from me so I was so out of place at my new school.  My step-dad moved us from Jackson because it was becoming too dangerous and I understood at the time and today why he did it but it didn't make starting at a new school any better.  I was a straight A student at my junior high (Chastain Jr. High) then we moved and I went to a school that had 5th graders and 12th graders something I had never seen before.  All I wanted to do was fit in and thought it would just happen b/c that's how it was at my other school. Y'all when I was in grade school and that first year of junior high I was extremely popular and everyone knew me, including the teachers.  So it was a complete shock to me when I moved to this new school and NO ONE liked me. I struggled to fit in and the teachers didn't know me or take the time to get to know me ( I only had 3 whereas at Chastain I had 7) so the changes just kept coming.
     I think the hardest thing for me to get a grip on was one of my teacher's attitude towards me, she was rude and demeaning made no effort to help me in any way.  My first week in class I had to find out what bus to ride in order to get home and she didn't help me.  I ended up not knowing and didn't have a way to get home so I had to WALK home along a VERY busy road. Let me tell you that when I got home and went back to school the next day that teacher knew who I was then.  It was extremly embarassing and terrifying.  From that day forward the teacher treated me differently and it was something that I will never forget.
     Anyway as my days continued at my new school things began to get better and even improve. I made friends and hung out with those friends until high school (why is it that everything changes in high school?) Unbeknownst to me my "friends" were talking about me behind my back and not inviting me to parties and whatever 9th graders do.  I got severely depressed in the 9th grade. I got to the point to where I actually planned out my suicide on a daily basis and I knew how to do it properly unlike my cousin.  You see my cousin and I hung out a lot growing up b/c we were close in age and we were always there for each other.  During the same time I was suffering from depression, my cousin was suffering as well and had already attempted suicide a couple of times. You see he is gay and was being picked on for being different. (I didn't know this at the time and have since learned this) So I knew from his failed attempts what needed to be done.  I had a really bad day at school one day and was feeling REALLY down in the dumps and figured this is it, this is the day. I was laying in bed planning it out, had the knife beside me, my mom was at work, stepdad was asleep, Chris (my brother) was outside and Brandon (my youngest brother) was at daycare. So there was really no one there to stop me or catch me until it was too late.  I consigned myself to the fact that no one would notice and when they did no one would care. As I sat up to start I heard my mother come home early and Brandon (my baby brother who was 3 at the time) burst into my room with his chubby cheeks and looked at me and "Mone sissy, we go to bubba's soccer" (in the voice that only a 3 year old could do) and I told him that I wasn't going and that they should go ahead (this was perfect in my eyes, now no one would be there). But Brandon, being Brandon jumped on my bed and got in my face and said "pwease, I want you dere" he was so sincere with his plea and had the cutest face that I couldn't turn him down. I thought to myself "how can I do this to this little boy who I love so much and who clearly needs me?" I couldn't do it.  So I got up and I went to soccer practice with them and I never revisited the idea again. I've never told Brandon this but he saved my life that day.
     I know that there are many people out there that say if I truly intended to do then nothing would have stopped me and you may be right. But what I say is that God sent the one person He knew I couldn't say No to into my room that day.  I say this because the next summer I went on an out of state trip with the youth group and as I was sitting in the church and we were praying and having a moment of silence I saw Jesus and was born again. It was the most amazing experience in my life. And since that time I have been content in my life (of course I have a natural tendency to want more) and a trust in God that I know everything will work out. 
     Now you're asking what does this have to do with bullying. Well as I continued through high school I was still talked about but I didn't really care because I had found a strength inside myself that mattered more than what those people were saying.  Yeah the words/actions still stung but I didn't let it get to me. I had my moments but when the comments started coming from those younger than me it became easier to let it slide b/c my peers began to understand me and stopped talking about me. Sure I was never physically bullied or picked on, but I think being ignored and the behind your back talking tears down a kids self esteem and is a form of bullying.
     So how do we fix it? Well we draw attention to it and make it known that we as a society and as human beings will not stand for it.  We don't ignore those kids that say they are being bullied and that starts at school.  Parents also need to pay attention when their kids say they are being bullied and let their kids know early on that they can come to them to talk.  Even then those kids may not want to talk to their parents and we need to find a way to let them know that there are people to talk to and support groups.  We just have to get the word out to stop bullying and that we aren't going to put up with it anymore.  There are groups out there and the movement is rising we just have to keep it up.
    Anyway, that's just my two cents on it.

    Court :)

Nerd

See this book.....I would LOVE to own this book (which I think just shows my nerdiness but I don't really care) I'm going to get this book one day when I have the money b/c yes this book is EXPENSIVE. On amazon.com right now a new copy is $195.00 a used copy starts at $155.39 but I think it is so worth it.  http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1851096000/sr=1-1/qid=1256233662/ref=olp_product_details?ie=UTF8&me=&qid=1256233662&sr=1-1&seller=

I love reading about history, especially southern history. The Civil War is what I want to eventually focus on when I go to get my Ph.D. just b/c I find it so fascinating. I love to read about people's lives during that time and what they found important enough to right about while a war was going on. It is just absolutely amazing. Even looking at what they went through makes what we are going through today seem like not much at all.  Anyway, this book along with a slew of others is on my wishlist that will expand my ever growing history book collection. Ha! True History nerd to the core! 

P.S. I'm also a Political Science nerd just not as much as history! :)

Have a GREAT day!
Court :)

Stress

     Ok so I don't have kids. Well I don't have human kids but I consider my puppy and my best friend's puppy my kids. I mean they are my kids. I spoil them and take care of them they way I would a human kid so I consider them my kids. And just like any mom, I freaked out when my fur baby, Beau, was sick yesterday. I mean I seriously freaked out. He woke up and threw up which is concerning considering he's done this quite a few times recently and he's only 5 pounds.  I guess b/c he's done it so much recently I didn't think twice about it and went ahead and took him outside without checking his gums or his tummy. Well while he was outside he was trying to throw up and in the process just fell over like someone had tipped him over. I FREAKED out!!! I mean I panicked b/c I had no clue what could've caused this and my first thought was he was having a seizure and this caused my heart to stop. I got him inside along with Jamie and I fed Jamie but Beau wouldn't eat (now I know why) and this really freaked me out so I fed him the food myself. Then I gave him Nutracal (which is really just Karo syrup for dogs with low blood sugar), water and carrots.    
      Well b/c he was eating that stuff and didn't throw up again, I didn't think anything about constipation. I was worried sick. Stayed home from work to watch him and make sure that he didn't have a seizure, googled his symptoms to see if I could diagnose him b/c I really didn't have the money to take him to the vet.  Well just as I was relaxing, he threw up twice and this time it stank and I said screw it and took him to the vet. Well once we got to the vet they tried to take his temperature (rectal) and hit something solid.  They suspected he was constipated but with my dog you never know b/c if he can get to it he will try to eat it. But b/c they couldn't be sure they did xrays (hello expensive!) and found that he was indeed backed up. I mean severely backed up. Which I don't understand b/c he has been going to the bathroom. I guess it just built up and built up. Anyway, they gave him an enema ( I know right!) and we had to wait until he went.  They gave him some medicine for throwing up and sent us home.
      So I went through all that to tell you that I feel like such an idiot b/c I know how to deal with constipation in puppies, Jamie's been through it. It just never occurred to me that this was Beau's problem. And since he can't really tell me that his tummy hurts I just didn't pay attention to it and that makes me feel twice as bad. I love this puppy as if I gave birth to him. I mean we plan where to stay on vacations on whether or not the hotel is puppy friendly or not.  He is my kid and I feel like I have failed up by letting it get this bad. And if I'm this bad about a puppy being sick how in the heck am I going to be once I have kids!!! Holy Cow!

Colonel not exactly a longtime tradition-By Rick Cleveland

Came across this article/blog in the ClarionLedger today and figured I'd share it. Rick Cleveland did a great job in this article and I couldn't agree more. http://orig.clarionledger.com/news/0306/19/srick.html

By Rick Cleveland
rcleveland@clarionledger.com
So, you think Colonel Rebel, the ill-fated University of Mississippi mascot, is a long-standing Ole Miss tradition, of a similar vintage to those stately oaks in The Grove?
Wrong. Jackson lawyer Jeff Hubbard was the original Colonel Rebel mascot. Hubbard first donned that huge, mustachioed head, with the wide-brimmed hat, all the way back in 1979.
"It was when sideline mascots were really coming into vogue both in college sports and the pros," Hubbard says by telephone from his Jackson office. "Everybody was going to a mascot that was sort of a caricature of the team's nickname."
In other words, it was late 20th century. Old traditions are said to die hard. How about relatively new ones?
"I'm torn about this," Hubbard says. "I represent eight professional mascots. I'm negotiating the contract for the Sacramento Kings' (NBA) mascot this week. Really good mascots add a lot.
"And I enjoyed my time as Colonel Rebel," Hubbard continues. "It wasn't about the Confederacy; it was about Ole Miss. At the same time, I know other schools use it against us in recruiting. It's a shame.
"Bottom line: I'm for what's best for Ole Miss. I trust Robert Khayat and Pete Boone to do what's best for the university."
Khayat, Ole Miss chancellor, and Boone, the athletic director, want to put the Confederacy and the 19th century behind them and move forward into the 21st century. Ole Miss coaches have said for years that Old South symbols, such as the Confederate battle flag, the song Dixie and Colonel Rebel, have hurt them in the recruitment of African-American athletes.
But, get this: The model for the original Colonel Rebel emblem was a black man, Blind Jim Ivy, a campus fixture for years until he died in 1955.
Historian David Sansing documents that little known fact in his splendid history of Ole Miss.
"Is that not irony?" Sansing says from his Oxford home. "If you look at the photo of Blind Jim in the three-piece suit, with the hat, there's a striking resemblance. The original Colonel Rebel emblem is a spitting image of Blind Jim Ivy, except for white skin."
Ivy attended most Ole Miss athletic events and was fond of saying, "I've never seen Ole Miss lose." Ivy was very much a part of the Ole Miss scene in 1936. That was the year Billy Gates, editor of the school newspaper, proposed a contest to produce a new nickname for Ole Miss teams, which were then known as The Flood.
Rebels was one of five entries submitted to a panel of sports writers. Of 42 newsmen contacted, 21 responded and 'Rebels' was the choice of 18. That's how The Flood became the Rebels. Two years later, Colonel Rebel appeared for the first time as an illustration in the university yearbook. It would be 41 more years before Colonel Rebel appeared on the sidelines.
"The closest we had before that was a cheerleader, with a microphone, dressed in a Confederate Army uniform," Jeff Hubbard says.
UM loyalty, not mascot
Gates would become the Ole Miss sports information director, whose job it was to publicize John Vaught's nationally renowned football teams. Gates died years ago, but his son, Bill Gates, continues the family's Ole Miss tradition. Gates, who lives in Memphis, is a diehard Rebel fan and a past president of Memphis-area Ole Miss alumni.
"Obviously, I'm steeped in Ole Miss traditions," Bill Gates says. "It was my daddy's idea to come up with the new nickname, so in a way he was responsible for Colonel Rebel. I can appreciate the feelings a lot of alumni and fans have for Colonel Rebel. At the same time, I'm for whatever will move Ole Miss forward. You can't tie one arm behind Deuce McAllister's back and expect him not to fumble. Well, you can't tie one hand behind our coaches' backs and expect them to win championships.
"Personally," Gates continues, "I'd rather have no mascot in Atlanta for the SEC championship game than have Colonel Rebel in Shreveport for the Independence Bowl."
Many, many others, including so many letter writers to this newspaper, disagree. They say they prefer tradition to political correctness. They believe if Colonel Rebel dies this year, the nickname Rebels may soon follow.
Sansing, on the other hand, points to universities that have successfully changed mascots and flourished, citing Stanford and Southern Miss as examples.
Stanford changed from Indians to the Cardinal. USM went from Southerners to Golden Eagles in 1972 and did away with a mascot called General Nat, named for Confederate general Nathan Bedford Forrest, founder of the Ku Klux Klan.
"I don't think there's any question that Southern is better off for the change," Sansing says.
Sansing, known to friends as the Emperor of the South End Zone, proudly cheers his Rebels.
"I love Ole Miss, but I cheer for the team; I cheer for the university," Sansing says. "People who are loyal to Ole Miss are loyal to the university, not some funny looking, little Civil War character."
Sansing is a wise, thoughtful man, who loves Ole Miss dearly. I bow to the Emperor on this one.

Middle East Grad Class

    Ok so while I was in Grad School at Mississippi I took a History of the Middle East class and it was really interesting and opened my eyes to many things.  I had to write a research paper, because what would a history class be without a research paper, and I decided to write about women's rights in Islam.  I find this an interesting topic to discuss for many reasons. I mean other than the obvious, Islam is a fairly young religion, especially when compared to Christianity so, what makes us Christians an authority to judge others.  I mean our country was founded on the concept that all men are created equal yet we had slavery, fought a war over it and persecuted legally one race of people until 1865.  The continued to persecute them until 1965 and the Voting Rights Act.  We even still persecute them today.
    Even as a country founded on the belief that all men are created equal, we persecute half of the population.  The population of women.  Women in the U.S. (a Christian country) didn't get the right to vote until 1920 and that only happen after many courageous women starved and fought for that right (for which I am extremely grateful).  Women are still treated poorly.  There are no strict Domestic Violence laws on the books, until the mid 1900s women had to be covered from the chest down (or they would be known as term I'm not going to say)...So again I ask, what gives us that right to judge another religion or culture for doing something that we ourselves did to our women and other minorities.
    I realize this is the 21st Century and things should be improved but I think before we can expect other countries to treat their women properly, then maybe we the U.S. should treat our women better and lead by example.  We need to stop judging and persecuting those whom we don't understand and instead of being scared of the unknown, learn about it.  Knowledge is at the center of everything and the more you/we have the better off you/we will be in the end.
    Anyway, that's just my thought for the day....and keep in mind that it is just my opinion.

Thinking out loud

Sometimes I wonder where I'm going and what I'm doing with my life...I don't really know, all I know is that I love History. I love learning about it, reading about it and talking about it. I especially love teaching other people what I know.  I love that feeling of accomplishment after I tell a little bit of history to some who knew nothing about the subject.  That's an amazing feeling!!  Maybe that's my calling... who knows, all I know is that's what I'm working twoards right now.  I would LOVE to eventually get my Ph.D., then go from there.

Zac Brown Band - National Anthem (A cappella)

Past Thoughts

So I was going through my journal last night and writing down some thoughts that I was having right before bedtime.  As I was looking for a blank page I saw some past thoughts and thought I should share them. Now keep in mind some of these were written at least four years ago, but the feelings still apply. So here is one:

One day at work the computers were down so I decided to write. That makes me wonder what would happen to our society if all the computers went down, just one day stopped.  If you ask me, that's where a terrorist should attack, attack our technology then we would be helpless.  We rely so much on that technology that we would not be able to work or function as a human being.  Maybe that should make us all stop and think about life and our lives and how we are living that life.  Are we living it to its fullest or just taking it for granted? Assuming we'll be here the next day, week, month, or year.  Life is too short to be planned away.  Why plan what you are going to do or need to do next week when you don't even know you'll be here.

Mimi

     You know it's not everyday that I sit and think about those people that I miss the most and who are no longer with us or at least it wasn't until my grandmother died last year.  My mimi was an amazing woman! She was a strong and stubborn woman who battled congestive heart failure for over 10 years before finally giving in to it last year after her 80th birthday.  There were times when we thought she wouldn't make it to her next birthday but she proved us all wrong time and again.  I guess the first really scary time was during my senior year at Ole Miss, right before finals in the fall semester, I got a phone call from my dad that told me the doctors didn't think she would make it to Christmas that year. That was pretty scary and stressful, but she made it cause she was one stubborn lady.  She wasn't able to travel to my graduation that next spring but she was there when I came home and showed her pictures.  After that she was put on an oxygen machine and told to quit smoking.  She also moved in with my aunt and uncle (her son), which looking back probably pushed her to live longer b/c they were always throwing some type of party.  She eventually moved in with my dad which I'm sure put a damper on his dating life (LOL!).
     Anyway I say all this because I have lost people in my life before, my grandfathers (all 3), an aunt, and friends from high school but I don't find myself missing them on a daily basis the way I miss her.  My mom's mom is still alive and I love her and truly think she'll make it to 100 cause she is a hardcore country girl!  But I grew up with my dad's mom, my Mimi.  The Yankee turned southerner! She gave me strength when I didn't think I had any left and she encouraged me to continue to do what I wanted no matter what my mom and dad told me.  She continued to tell me that it was ok to be single and not have kids at my age because I had achieved so many other things.  When I was younger she's the person who told me that I could do whatever I wanted and be whoever I wanted.  I used to sit at her table and listen to her stories from college and high school and I was in awe that this woman, who was so smart and had done so much, loved me.
      Mimi was born and raised in Chicago, IL and when I say she was a Yankee, she was indeed a Yankee.  She met my grandfather while he was in the Air Force stationed at O'Hara.  They got married and had 3 children.  Because he was from Mississippi, this strong woman who had always lived in Chicago, packed her kids and moved down south, to a foreign land.  My grandparents got divorced for whatever reason and she remarried Pawpaw Frank, besides my maternal grandfather he's the only one I've known.  My dad's dad died when I was only 4 from lung cancer and I don't remember him too well. 
      Back to Mimi, what type of woman does it take to move away from your family and friends to a place you've never been, it takes an extremely strong woman.  I guess that's where I get it because after I graduated from Ole Miss and a year of working in Oxford I (and 2 friends) packed my things and moved to Dallas/Fort Worth where I knew noone and had no job. Talk about the adventure of a lifetime. But that story's for another day.  Mimi is the one person who never doubted the decisions I was making and never doubted that I would be somebody.  She trusted the decisions I made and supported me and she went to bat for me against my dad. 
       So I guess that's why I miss her so much on a DAILY basis. I find myself wanting to cry. I know she's in a better place and is no longer in any pain. I imagine her sitting in an air conditioned room, watching Wheel of Fortune and drinking a White Russian. She loved those things. I know she was there the day I graduated from Mississippi College with my Master's Degree and I know she was there when my childhood best friend died after Christmas.  I also know that she's looking out for me and I can't think of a better person to be my Guardian Angel in Heaven than the one who was my Guardian Angel on Earth. 
       Now don't get me wrong I love my mom, dad, step dad and mom's mom and they have each had a huge influence on my life but I had a special bond with Mimi.  She was and will always be MY Mimi. :)

Fan Support Rant!

Ok so I've let the negativity go on for some time now but today just tops if off! I heard my boss, who is an alum of UM and a contributor to all things UM, say that it was very likely that we wouldn't win this weekend against Kentucky. I am SO TIRED of the nay sayers and the negative Nancys out there that automatically assume that we are not going to win a football game! Do you know how many games I have gone to and sat in the FREEZING RAIN knowing that we weren't going to win but I was there anyway because hey this could be the time that we actually BEAT Alabama! I swear I am so tired of the fair weather fans who are there for the team when all is going well but as soon as we lose ONE game, well it's all over and things are going downhill! You know what if you don't like the team that much then please just stop being a fan! You are taking up valuable space for someone who really does care about the team no matter how good or bad they play!  I wish that those negative Nancys would just for ONCE put themselves in those players shoes and be able to play from the time the whistle blows in the first quarter until the clock strikes 0:00 in the fourth quarter. Until you've walked in their shoes you don't really know what they are going through so the LEAST we could do as fans is support them and have a positive outlook that yes we can win this weekend!

Rant

OK so I've thought this over and figure I should just get it off of my chest before I can fully devote myself to work today (right like that's gonna happen on a Friday) but anyway here it goes.  So I was reading an article about the Ole Miss mascot decision and as an alum of this prestigious school I have to say that other than the black bear I really don't like the other two choices. But I'll get my say when they send out the poll for alum, students, faculty/staff and season ticket holders to vote.  You see cause that's how it's done if  you put money towards the school or some way benefit then you have a say in the decisions that are being made. And this is the way it should be. What really just bugs the crap out of me is when people go onto websites and post asinine comments about a subject they don't really care about. So you say you are a Rebel fan but b/c they did away with Col. Reb you are going to stop being a fan??? That's just ludicrous!! I mean who chooses a school to root for based on their mascot!  There is so much more to being an Ole Miss Rebel than the Col Reb gave us credit for. I will admit that when they finally retired Col Reb in my senior year I was deeply saddened, but as I've gotten older and branched out into the world I've realized that this is not such a bad thing.  The school's reputation needed to be changed, it's got such a bad HISTORY that no one really pays attention to the PRESENT.  There are amazing things happening on campus and by taking the step of changing the mascot the university is helping to bring not only the image of Ole Miss into the 21st Century but also the image of Mississippi as a whole.  Cause let's be honest while there are like 7 other universities (1 being another SEC school) the University of Mississippi gets the most press b/c it is the flagship school of the state.  Maybe by bringing the image of the University into the 21st Century we could prove to the rest of the country what everyone in Mississippi already knows....we aren't so bad down here in the South and we sure as hell aren't backwards.
From my point of view this was a change that needed to happen and I'm glad it is happening, we'll always be the Rebels, you can't change that, but now we'll just have a different mascot.  I'm rooting for the Black Bear cause I think having a ferocious black bear in a cage outside the visiting team's tunnel would be intimidating (just look at Mike the Tiger at LSU).  We gotta find someway to intimidate our opponents!! ;)