Year End

So it’s been a while since I last blogged but I’ve had a lot going on and not really enough time to sit and write out what I’ve been doing or thinking.  So on New Year’s Eve I’ve decided to sit down and write it all out.  I had planned on attending the Make A Wish New Year’s Eve
Gala tonight but severe weather in Mississippi put those plans out of whack.  I couldn’t think of being anywhere but home when these storms moved through and now I’m glad I was home.  As I kept track of the weather I kept my brother and sister-in-law up to date on the location of tornadoes.  TORNADOES on New Year’s Eve, yeah odd but true.  Anyway everyone is safe so onto the holidays.

So for the first time in a REALLY long time I spent the night at my mother’s house on Christmas Eve and woke up on Christmas day there. And I have to tell you that it was a joy to experience that.  I have always loved spending Christmas Eve with my mom, step dad and my brothers.  Unfortunately this year Chris wasn’t able to be there b/c he has his own family now but it was still fun.  We spent the night watching old family videos and let me tell you that was FUNNY!!  It was also so much fun to see all that and to remember.  Waking up Christmas morning and not having to worry about driving somewhere at that moment was so relieving and relaxing that it made the morning that much more enjoyable.  My stepdad made breakfast and my mom and Brandon and I laid in the bed.  Once breakfast was done we moved along to opening gifts, which is also my favorite part (not b/c I like getting gifts, I do but that’s not it) I love seeing my families’ faces when they see what I have gotten them.  Needless to say everyone loved their gifts and were totally surprised by them. 

After presents were opened there I packed up my stuff and Beau and we headed back to Jackson to go to my dad’s house for Christmas.  Apparently Beau didn’t take to well to the trip to mom’s b/c when I dropped him off at my best friend’s mom’s house he started growling at everyone and slept the whole time. Weird.  Anyway when I got to my dad’s house I was actually early (shock and awwww) and actually sat and watched “It’s a Wonderful Life” with my sis, Hillary. Love that movie and loved spending time with her.  Then there was dinner and more presents and then time to leave. Man it was a long weekend but this last week was even longer.

I didn’t think it could be longer but it was longer.   My sister and I got tickets to go to a concert at the House of Blues in New Orleans on Tuesday and I had to be back at work on Thursday in order to get paid for the holiday.  So we drove down to New Orleans Tuesday to see this really awesome band, The 100 Monkeys!! I know sounds like a really odd name for a band but then there are tons of weird named bands out there.  Anywho, this band was amazing. They put on a really good show and a really entertaining show.  Their music is not mainstream and I love that.  I would call them a type of funky bluezy rock.  The guys are really animated when they perform and that makes the show that much more fun.  This was actually the first time my sister and I have been on a trip with just the two of us and I have to say that it was really fun.  On Wednesday we got up, checked out of the hotel and walked around the French Market.  Of course no trip to New Orleans is complete without a trip to Café du Monde.  All in all it was a very fun trip. Minus the extreme pain I felt in my feet.  Note to self do not wear boots with heels and then stand for SEVERAL hours or you will experience extreme pain! It was still a good trip and a good way to end the holiday season.

So yeah that’s how my holidays went.  Here’s to hoping that 2011 brings good things for us all.

Happy New Year!!!

Court J

Volunteering

I am a huge advocate for volunteering, I may not do it much myself but I hole heartedly believe in it.  I think volunteering serves two purposes. The first purpose is the obvious one, you are helping someone or some organization out free of charge. You are donating your time to them. The second purpose is one that gets reiterated each time I volunteer.  It’s the feeling you, the volunteer, get after you’ve done this good deed.  There is no feeling like that, the feeling of doing something good for your fellow man.

When I was in high school I knew about volunteering I just never did and now I wish I would have done so.  When I went off to Ole Miss there was a girl on my floor during my senior year (yes I lived in the dorm throughout college) who knew of a sorority that wasn’t like the ones on campus.  She wanted to bring it to Ole Miss because it was different.  If you’ve ever been to any major university then you know that sororities and fraternities are big on campus and they are mainly social (meaning people join to meet other people).  There is nothing wrong with those groups and I know plenty of people who joined them, they just weren’t for me. So when this friend asked me if I wanted to join a sorority I was kind of gun shy about it. I mean I didn’t know if I could afford to be in one or if I even wanted to be in one.  But then she explained to me that this sorority was different.  This sorority was a service sorority, meaning the ENTIRE purpose of it was to volunteer!  Sure you met new people but you were servicing your community and others in need.  Well I was all for that and joined. And on January 25, 2003 I became an active member in this sorority after helping found the chapter on the Ole Miss campus. The sorority is Omega Phi Alpha and our chapter is Alpha Beta.  I was actually our chapter first Alumni as I graduated from Ole Miss in May of 2003.  The projects that we did in the semester we were forming the chapter and the semester after we officially became a chapter were amazing and life changing to me.

I never realized that doing that kind of service for others could give you that feeling.  That’s why when I started working for the company I now work for and found out that there would be more volunteering opportunities I jumped at the chance.  I am always the first to volunteer and not because I can get out of work (although that is a plus) but mainly because I LOVE to do it.  Yesterday is a good example of that. I volunteered, with some co-workers, at the Salvation Army’s Angel Tree Toy Shop gathering the Angels toys together and organizing them and in some cases putting toys and clothes together for those children who didn’t get adopted.  Seeing the generosity of some many people during a time when the economy is not great really moved me and had me on the verge of tears.  I really wish I could see the children’s faces when they open their presents. I don’t have any children so I don’t get to experience the look on their faces on Christmas morning when they open their gifts and get what they wanted so I live every year for the Angel Tree because I can just imagine those children’s faces when they thought they were getting nothing, get something. It moves me.  I am so thankful that my job gives me the opportunity to volunteer for various projects.

I encourage EVERYONE to volunteer at least once a year and not just at Christmas time, although that’s awesome, but throughout the year when most people don’t volunteer.  Contact your stewpot, Habitat for Humanity, Salvation Army or even the children’s hospital. I know there are more so contact them.  Me personally I in the process of training to become a Wish Granter with the Make-A-Wish foundation and I can’t wait to start!!

Merry Christmas All!!

Much Love,

Courtney

Worried Parents

I know I worry my parents.  I mean if they didn’t worry about me then I would be worried about them.  I know it’s natural for parents to worry about their children.  I don’t have children so I don’t fully understand the worry but I know it’s natural.  In my case I am single with no prospects (and I haven’t had any prospects recently) so naturally my parents worry about me. They worry that I’m never going to find someone to share my life with, of course they don’t tell me this but I know it’s there.  My mom I think worries about that more than my dad and step dad.  I think it is more natural for moms to want their daughters married and having a family. And I do want to get married and have a family, I’m just scared b/c I’ve been hurt before.  I try to explain that to my mom, that getting out there is really scary and I think she’s finally got it and just wants me to be happy. 

After I graduated college my mom and I had an argument about where I was in my life compared to where she was in hers at my age.  You see when I graduated from college I was 22, well 21 but turned 22 the next week, and when my mother was 21/22 she was married and had me when she was 23.  She was telling me that I needed to be married b/c she had been married when she was my age.  Of course being the young 22 year old that I was and a recent graduate on top of that I threw in her face that while she had been married at my age, I had a college education and wasn’t that more important to her than being married and having kids.  Like I said I was smart but not when it came to common sense in some areas.  Of course my mom was proud of me for graduating college and doing something she hadn’t done (she may have even been a little bitter about it) but that didn’t mean that she didn’t want me to experience motherhood and being a wife.  Needless to say we had it out about it with my step dad taking my side and saying that there was no need for me to rush into marriage and family and that when I met the right person I would know.   For a long time this didn’t work for my mom b/c she came from the school of thought that a woman needed a man to protect her and take care of her and I can respect that but that wasn’t the kind of life I wanted for myself.  I didn’t, and still don’t, want a life where I had to rely on a man to take care of things. 

So to prove to myself, my mom and even both of my dads that I could take care of myself I moved out of Mississippi.  My best friend, a college roommate, and myself decided to pack our things and move to Fort Worth, Texas. Why? Well because Texas has cowboys and we always wanted a cowboy and I just needed to get out of Mississippi.  So I applied to graduate schools in the Fort Worth area, got accepted on my 24^th birthday and by that June we were packed and moved to Fort Worth. Man that was an adventure! But that’s for another day.  I remember telling my dad that I was moving and he was happy for me, told me that I needed to do this to experience life.  My dad never really seems to be worried about me, I don’t know if that’s because he just has that much faith in me to do the right things and be careful, or if it’s just Faith.  But he encouraged it and told me to call him weekly and check in (showing his worry there).  My step dad gave me some money, hugged me, told me to be careful and he would miss me and told me he loved me (we’ve had a rough relationship, mainly b/c I was a rebellious young teenager and he was the enforcer but then we got passed it so this meant a lot to me).  My mom was a different story.  I saw the worry on her face and heard it in her voice every time I talked to her.  I don’t think she was worried that I would fail; she had too much faith in me for that, I think she was worried that I would finally meet that someone out in Texas and I wouldn’t be home.  I think she was worried that I was going to grow up and not need her anymore.  Maybe that’s every parent’s worry, that their kids will grow up and no longer need them anymore. 

To make a long story short, I got to Texas, met some guys and realized that I missed my family too much and figured I had proved to myself that I could make it on my own and I didn’t need to rely solely on my parents or a man to make it in life but that it would be nice to have a little back up.  So I moved back home.  I had too much going on in my family to be 6 hours away from them.  I think I realized this during Katrina when I couldn’t get in touch with them and I didn’t know what was going on.  I didn’t like that feeling one bit or the feeling of not being able to help them b/c I was so far away.  Then my brother joined the National Guard and got activated to go to Iraq and my grandmother’s health started quickly declining.  There was just too much going on here for me to be in Texas.  My family needed me and I was experiencing some of that worry. So I moved home a different woman, a more confident woman.  I had some more blow ups with my mom, mainly both of us trying to come to grips with me growing up and becoming an adult.  We’ve since worked it out and my mom tells me on a daily basis how much she loves me and trusts me to make the right decisions.  She also tells me not to rush into any relationship and that when the right man comes along, I’ll know.  Seems she finally got the memo.  Now I know she still worries about me, I hear it in her voice but when she worries, she’s worrying about my safety when I’m driving home from her house or from work.  She’s worrying about my general well being.  She’s being a mom.

Now I’m trying to take anything away from my dad or my step dad. I know they too worry about my general well being and my safety. Because that’s just what dad’s do.  Dad’s check your tires, make sure your car is running properly and make sure you have enough money.

Bottom line? I love my parents more than words can express.  They may drive me crazy (and they may be crazy) but they’re mine and I love ‘em!

Much love! Courtney

P.S. God doesn't give you the people you want, He gives you the people you NEED: To help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to make you into the person you were meant to be.

The Help

In a previous post I wrote that I was reading The Help and that once I finished I would get back. Well guess what! I finished it.  Once I past a certain point in the book I couldn’t seem to put it down.  Even though the story is fiction (and the author makes a note in her own words at the end of the book to make it known to the reader) it could just as well be true.  Anyone who has grown up in the South and studied the region has read about life in the 1950s and 1960s and how drastic things got.  As I was reading the book I got angry and some of the things that she was writing about, not at the author, but at the fact that what she was writing was true.  The fact that there really were conversations about white people getting diseases from their black help if they sat on the same toilet (that’s right I said toilet), the fact that different bathrooms were built so this wouldn’t happen just makes me depressed. I can’t imagine thinking those things or even acting on those things. But when I stop and think about that time period I am reminded how far as a city, state, and nation we have come and how far we have to go. 

In the past movies and even books have portrayed the South as a backwards community that did not know what was going on in the “real” world and refused to progress with the speed of the rest of the country.  Just because we’re slow and don’t do things at the speed the rest of the country thinks we should, doesn’t make us backwards. I once traveled to Memphis with the high school band and met a band from Minnesota and they asked us if we had air conditioning in Mississippi and if we wore shoes.  I was shocked that this perception still existed in the 20^th Century (it happened in 1998) and that people actually believed that we didn’t have air conditioning, but that’s Hollywood for you, painting an inaccurate picture.  Yes it is EXTREMELY hot in Mississippi during the summer, but we have air conditioning and we wear shoes, maybe not at home but at least in public.   We are a proud stubborn people, we have seen things that no one should have to see, we have experienced things that no one should have to experience and we brought it all on ourselves.  There are some of us who refuse to let that part of our history die and refuse to believe that they were wrong.  But that is not everyone in the South.  We are an educated people and those of us educated choose to stay with the hopes of making it a better place to live for our children and their children.  And yes there may be times when we southerners choose not to do things only b/c someone from the outside is telling us we need to do it.  This isn’t being backwards but being prideful and having a natural reaction to someone from the outside telling us what we “need” to do. I mean how would you feel if someone told you that everything you believed was wrong and everything you had been taught your ENTIRE life was now wrong.  The way you lived your life was wrong and backwards and you needed to fix it. I don’t think many people would take too kindly to this and I think they would have the same reaction.  Yes things in the South were bad and needed to change in the 1950s and 1960s and yes many southerners needed to be told to change and have it pointed out to them that this needed to happen.   What I guess I’m arguing is that, things have changed in the South.  Sure there are many things that need to change but there are many things that need to change across the country.  Hollywood pointing to the South like it’s the redheaded step child of the country needs to stop! Some of the most talented people have come from the South.  Some of the most beautiful works of art, both in literature and paintings have come from the South.

So I am pleased to see that a southern writer wrote about her state during a time she grew up and experienced it. I’m excited to see how the movie will turn out and to hear the actors take on the dreaded southern accent. (By the way just because we talk slow doesn’t mean we are slow, just means we enjoy talking and listening so we take our time).  Kathryn Stockett is from Mississippi and will quickly admit that as soon as she was old enough she got out of Mississippi. She also writes that it is perfectly ok for her to speak ill of her mother (that being Mississippi) but she will gladly educate anyone else speaking ill of her mother (unless of course Mississippi is that person’s mother as well).  And I have to say that I have done the same thing! I may hate many things about living in Mississippi but I LOVE this state. I love the people of this state, even if some of them still cling to the old ways, I love the feel of this state and I love knowing that when I pass someone on the street they are going to smile Hello to me and sometimes ask how I’m doing. You can’t get that anywhere else.  Sure the weather is not something to brag about, one day its 60 degrees, the next it could be 80 and then 30 degrees. But you get used to it.

In The Help Kathryn Stockett tells the story of three brave women who choose to write a book about the lives of maids in Jackson, Mississippi.  Brave because they decided to tell the story during the Civil Rights Movement when blacks were being beaten or killed and whites who helped were getting the same treatment.  Brave because it was a new frontier, no one knew what happened between a maid and her missus and these women were about to tell this story.  As I was reading it there was one character that I did not like and if I met her today there is no telling what I would say to her.  This character’s name is Hilly and she is the know it all, she is in charge of the Jackson League and leads the women in the community.  What Hilly says usually goes.  We all know women like this, knew them when we were girls and knew them in college.  I can’t stand this woman.  There is a difference between being a leader and being a dictator. Hilly and women like her are dictators.  They lead by placing fear of retribution into those they lead.  No one wants to be ostracized, as one of the three women, Skeeter, finds out. Being on the outside was no fun for Skeeter and I think having her best friend Hilly(for they were best friends) do this to her, opened Skeeter’s eyes and motivated her to write the book faster.  The Help takes on a subject that many people have thought about and maybe even written about but it tells a story from the point of view of the help and one woman who chose to step out of her character at the cost of her friendships and relationships.  Mrs. Stockett does a great job of pointing out the things that needed to be changed in Jackson, Mississippi in the 1960s and of pointing out that things may appear different on the surface than they are beneath it.

I recommend this book to EVERYONE. Read it and then next year when the movie comes out, go see the movie.  It’s a fictional story about fictional people but the circumstances in this fiction could be and probably are true.

Little Things

So I was out Christmas shopping last weekend in New Orleans. Of course you ask, why did you go to New Orleans to shop? Well my friends and I wanted some new shopping grounds so to speak so we decided the French Market was unique and would make each gift we got just as unique.

So the week of the shopping trip I make my list (the same list I make every year with a few more added in) and begin to think about what I am going to get each person on my list. I have an idea of what to get the ladies b/c they usually like the same things I do so that's easy.  My dad and step dad are pretty easy as well. My brothers and nephew are really easy.  Then I come across my cousin's name, who is a Mississippi State fan (I'm a huge Ole Miss fan) and I begin to wonder what I will get him. Buying anything MSU or LSU is completely out of the question in my book b/c I refuse to support any one's support of those teams. (It's just unheard of ;) )  Well I couldn't seem to figure out what to get him and on my way home from work I stopped at a little store to figure something out.  There it was the perfect gift for him but could I really buy it for him??? I mean it goes against everything I stand for and what if someone saw me with it, what would they think?? So I swallowed my pride and bought it.  What was it? An MSU travel mug! Shhhhh.....

I felt bad for purchasing it but then I thought it's not for me and he would really love and appreciate that I, an Ole Miss fan, bought it for him. So when I was in New Orleans I cam across another good gift for a friend but it would mean crossing that line again, only worse this time.  You see she is an LSU and Ole Miss fan (how I don't know) but she is surrounded by LSU fans year round therefore she supports them more.  At the French Market I found a watch, the band is purple and the face is tiger stripped and I thought to myself how much she would really love this watch.  Then I think to myself, am I really about to do this AGAIN and with an LSU item?? (You see there is huge animosity between Ole Miss and LSU fans)  But again I think, this is not about me but about the person I am buying the gift for and she would really like this watch and it is unique.

So I purchase it for her to the shocked gasps of my best friend (also an Ole Miss alum) and her cousin (a future Rebel).  But what can I say I like to surprise people with gifts that they would never suspect and I love looking at their faces when they open them and a little tear comes to their eye when they realize that I thought about their likes when I bought their gift.  That I took their wants and desires into consideration and got something that is uniquely them.  It's the little things like that, that push me to make those special purchases.

Christmas Decorations

I live in a pretty nice neighborhood outside of Madison, MS (Gluckstadt) and some of my neighbors decorate their houses with lights and other decorations and others don't. When we first moved in I was sort of surprised that more people didn't participate in it but since I can't afford to buy enough decorations or lights to deck our my house I didn't put too  much thought into it.  Let me be real honest the only reason I don't put decorations up is because a) I don't have a ladder to get the lights on the house, b) if I did have one I would be to terrified to go up and do it and c) I'm not really coordinated enough to decorate.  (I'll also add that I'm lazy and on the weekends like to do nothing). Anyway, I always thought that once I got a house of my own I would put more effort into it, and I probably will, but right now I'm renting the house and I don't get home until it's dark and I'm rarely home on the weekends so I see no point in it. I guess what I don't understand is why people don't but I'm not judging them cause let's be honest I have no room to judge. I will however judge those who do put them up. The people who go through the hassle to put up decorations to entertain those who pass by have my utter appreciation!! I love looking at decorations and really find much joy in driving down the road and seeing the lights. So those who put them up to entertain us, Thank You!

I may not decorate the outside of my house but my roommate/best friend Misty and I do decorated the inside of the house the best we can. The fireplace and the Christmas tree get most of the attention but there are nick nacks around the living room as well.  Every year we take turns on who's color theme we will use and this year it's my color theme. I'm a real traditional person and love the traditional Christmas colors, red, green and gold. But we've already done that one year so this year I chose green and gold, and let me tell you it came out great!! Last year we had red, chocolate, and pink (Misty's choice) and in my opinion this one is better. I'll be honest though and say that I love Christmas trees so the decorations only add to it.  Here is a picture of the tree and the fireplace.  I'm working on getting a picture of the tree in the daytime so that you can see the green and gold balls as well as the bows. I'll add it once I do.

Merry Christmas!!!
Courtney

Christmas Time

Every year at Christmas my mom asks me what I want. And every year I tell her that anything she wants to get me is more than enough. I'm almost 30 years old so there really isn't anything that I need that I can't get for myself (or that she and my step dad can afford to get for me) so I tell her that whatever she gets for me will be fine.  She, being my mother, doesn't like this.  She always thinks I need stuff and that I need more than what she can give me. Which is a good thing I guess but it also makes her feel guilty b/c she can't give me what she thinks I need. Every year I tell her (and I truly mean it) that I am perfectly happy with the things she gets me and that I would still be happy if she couldn't get me anything.  This is how I truly feel. Every year I am just so thankful that I have my mother to celebrate the holidays with and that she is in good health. Every year I am happy that my family is together.  I appreciate it more now than I did before and I think that's due to in 2007 my brother was in Iraq at Christmas and so it was the only time that we weren't together for the holiday. (Other than a time that he went on a skiing trip when he was younger)

I remember going through that Christmas without him and knowing that he was in a war zone and praying that we never got the phone call that something had happened to him.  The holidays are always a difficult time for military families and I learned that first hand.  Even though I had uncles and a cousin who had served during Christmas previously it wasn't the same as my brother not being there Christmas Eve for the tradition of opening one present or Christmas morning to see my youngest brother get his first vehicle.   Chris was able to come home for Thanksgiving and we celebrated his Christmas with him then so we had our family picture but I'll tell you what. That next year was more special Christmas b/c he made it home safely and was there for those traditions.

So I tell my mom that I really am just happy to celebrate my holiday with the family b/c I am thankful that we are all together.  Though this will be the second year without my Mimi, I am still thankful that my Nanny is around and that I, my brothers, my sister, my mother, my father and my step father are all healthy enough that we can get together for Christmas.  This will also be the first year with my sister-in-law and my nephew (even though they were there last year, this time they HAVE to be! lol!).

While you're out shopping this holiday season and buying gifts for family and complaining about having to buy gifts. Remember that there are people out there who wish they had someone to buy a gift for and are missing their loved ones.  Also remember the real reason for the season and be thankful for your beautiful family b/c even though they may have faults, they are still your family.

Happy Holidays
Courtney

Don't Walk

Working downtown any time you walk anywhere and have to cross the street you have to wait for the appropriate sign to dictate when you can or cannot walk.  Well I'm the type of person (and I'm sure I'm not the only one) who crosses when it says Don't Walk. I mean I make sure no cars are coming of course but I really don't feel the need to stand there and wait for the Walk sign to flash when nothing is coming. 

So I'm the type of person who walks when they say don't walk.  There could be a deeper meaning to all this. I mean if we always did the things we were told to do then many things that have happened or things that people have accomplished wouldn't have happened. I know for me personally if I followed what my mom and most people would have wanted me to do when I was eighteen then I would probably divorced right now.  Let me explain.

After I graduated high school I started dating this guy.  He was a really good guy and I thought I really loved him.  But I really wanted to go to college.  So I chose to stay home and go to community college (not just for him but also because I didn't think I was ready). Partially giving in.  After two years of community college I decided to head to university.  My family was happy for me and so was my guy but I could tell that they secretly wanted me to stay and get married and start my life.  Instead I went off to college and followed what I wanted to do with my life.  Well while I was away at college....my guy decided that while the cat was away the mouse would play and played with my best friend at the time and some others.  But this is not the reason I would be divorced today had I gotten married when I was younger.  Had I gotten married then he wouldn't have cheated (or so I like to tell myself).  I would be divorced because he just wasn't man enough for me.  He really was a great guy and very polite and attentive, but that was part of the problem.  He was so attentive and needing to please that it got on my nerves and he had no back bone.  Anyone who knows me knows that I love to argue about anything and this just didn't work with him because he didn't argue back. So I would never have been able to live with that for long.  If I wouldn't have gone to college and discovered my own backbone then yeah I would be divorced.

That's not the only thing that I've bucked against but it's really all I can think of right now.  So think about it.  How many times have you done something without questioning why you are doing it or what it is you are doing?  How many times have you stood there when the sign said Don't Walk and nothing was coming?  Or do you Walk when nothings coming and the sign says Don't Walk?

Sickness

I haven't blogged in a while and there is a reason for it. Not a very good one, but a reason. The main reason is I've just been... I'll say it, lazy. I haven't really felt like getting on the computer at home. Once I get home, I am home and don't want to do anything. Not even cook. LOL!  There is also another reason. There is a really bad stomach virus going around. I mean REALLY bad and REALLY contagious. I thought I had done everything to guard myself against it and wasn't going to get it, even though my best friend/roommate and her entire family had it. I did really well until late Sunday night. I started feeling not so good but thought it would pass and I would be fine in the morning.

Not so! UGH. I woke up early Monday morning and felt so horrible. I've had stomach bugs before but nothing like this. It was bad!  Once I got over being sick Monday night I was sooooo weak. Like I had battled the flu or something.  I was still weak until yesterday. Today is actually the first day where I feel like myself again.  This virus really knocks you down and out. Be warned. If you get it stay AWAY from anyone and everyone. If you don't have it but know someone who does....invest in Lysol! I'm serious. You do not want this virus.

Anyway. So that's why I haven't blogged.