Why?

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here are times when I think to myself, why? Why do I eat when I am stressed out? Why do I let myself get stressed out when I know that everything will be ok? Why is life so complicated? Why am I still single? WHY? And then when I get done asking myself these questions I take a step back and look long and hard in the mirror. I obviously don’t see what other people see, heck in most cases many of us don’t see in ourselves what other people see in us. And that got me asking another round of questions. Why as a society do we let other people tell us what we should wear? Why do we let society tell us what we should eat? Why do we let those same people tell us what is good for us or what we should listen to, who’s right and who’s wrong.  When did our society stop making decisions for itself and start letting a select few make them for us? Why is our society so determined to sit back and let other people determine how their life should be lived?

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hen will we wake up and realize that WE are the only ones who should determine anything that happens in our OWN life? Other than a few basic things that we need guidance on we should be able to make choices and then live with those

consequences.  Now I’m not talking about children and teenagers, but if you are old enough to vote AND buy alcohol then you should be old enough to make some decisions on how you choose to live your life.  Why do we [women] look at the cover of a magazine and determine that the woman on the cover is the ideal beauty? Why do we [women] allow men to determine who is beautiful? Why do we allow those same impossibly skinny models determine how we feel about ourselves? Don’t we know that those models don’t eat and live in constant fear that somebody better and skinner will come along and steal the spotlight from them. Don’t we know that even if those designers don’t make clothes to fit us doesn’t mean there aren’t some FABULOUS clothes out there that look just as good and are CHEAPER! Why do we push ourselves to be something that is clearly not making us happy?

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ow I can understand losing weight because it will make you eat healthier, now that is a good thing and something that I am striving to do. I find this task difficult because I eat when I’m stressed out and guess what I’ve been stressed out for the last year so you guessed it, all that good I did before has just gone out the window. But I finding with everyday that that is ok, because I am learning more about me on the inside and until I realize that I am beautiful on the inside I will never see myself as beautiful on the outside no matter what my weight is.  So I am a work in progress and I think that’s a

good thing, I think that if we stop trying to improve ourselves, either mentally, physically or emotionally, then we will lose sight of the importance of the gift that God has given us. He gave us every possible resource we could need to improve on what He sees as perfect.  So yeah I have put on all the weight I lost 2 years ago and yeah I am self conscious about it, but you know what, I know deep down that I am becoming well acquainted with the me on the inside. And I’m beginning to think that she is one beautiful woman.  I may have a few extra pounds, but man I have a beautiful smile, beautiful color of eyes, gorgeous hair, a connection with God, and a Master’s Degree.   I think I’m doing pretty good.

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o the next time that you see a skinny girl and ask why you can’t look like that, just remember that she may be asking herself why can’t she be as free as you are.  Because when we love what we look like on the inside, it shines through to the outside and those flaws that we see become a little dimmer and fade into the background.  And we see what everyone else sees, a beautiful radiant woman.  So the next time that you look in the mirror and think you see all those flaws, whether they are there or not, just say to yourself that you are beautiful on the inside and that God loves you flaws and all.