New Kids On The Block!

Sunday on ABC, the AMA's were aired. Everyone knows this and some were looking forward to it. I of course love watching award shows just for the outfits and performances, I don't really care for the AMAs or when wins cause in my opinion they are rigged and who wins shouldn't really win. But anyway I was especially looking forward to this years b/c one of the performers was a group that I have loved it seems like my ENTIRE life!  That's right NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK otherwise known as NKOTB!! MAN every time I hear that name I freak out and squeal like I'm 10 all over again. I LOVED them when I was growing up.  My childhood best friend and I used to walk around singing their songs and imaging marrying one of them(you know usual things). So when I heard that they joined forces with the Backstreet Boys and touring I was ecstatic...like THRILLED!!!  So I was completely looking forward to the AMAs this past Sunday for their performance. Man I was excited (and still am even though it's in the past) and of course I had to wait through the entire AMAs....yawn....other than Bon Jovi I was completely bored until the end.

When NKOTBSB hit the stage I swear I almost squealed! Lol!  I was jamming like I was a teenager again and it brought back soooooo many memories and with those memories a sadness.  You see my childhood best friend (one who had been my best friend for 20 years until some bad blood caused us to go our separate ways) died last year. The day after Christmas, the day before her 29th birthday.  She was on her way to the hospital to see her daughter who was in the NICU.  Before she died we had started talking again and reconnecting, nothing was ever going to be like it was before the bad blood but maybe we could be friends again.  When I heard that our favorite band from our childhood was touring I knew she was smiling down and doing a little dance too. I would have loved to go to another concert with her and her to bring her oldest daughter but alas she is gone. I would love to take her daughter myself but my friend's ex-husband and new wife won't let me have any contact with her daughter and this breaks my heart.  B/C I have stories about her mom that no one knows and things I think her daughter should know. 

So while I'm happy that NKOTB is touring again, I'm a little sad that the ONE person in the whole world who understands the importance of this event is no longer a part of this world.  So when I go to the concert ( and I'm determined to go) I'll think of her and our childhood.

Thanksgiving

The holiday is amoung us and let me tell you it has had me stressed! I'm not stressed b/c I have a whole lot of cooking to do or to help out doing, although I am contributing my pie to my mom's dinner. I'm stressing b/c ever since I was a little girl I have had multiple Thanksgivings and as I got older and started dating those Thanksgivings multiplied.  You see my parents divorced when I was young, like 5 or 6, and ever since then I have had to go back and forth depending on who's year it was.  When I started driving I had to go to both on the same day usually around the same time. Mom always did early lunch (say 11) and dad did mid lunch (say 1:30). Which if you're doing the math is not much time to let the first meal digest.  There is a positive to this, usually at Thanksgiving my mom will travel 3 hours to her mom's house and if this happens then I only have one dinner to go to and that is of course my grandmother's house with my mom.  Not b/c I don't love my dad but just b/c I get to see my grandmother and that whole side of the family (which is HUGE, my mom is one of 9!).

Well this year my mom can't afford to make the trip to my grandmother's house 3 hours away(which makes me sad b/c I really wanted to see her, guess I'll go one weekend before Christmas) so this means....you guessed it 2 Thanksgivings! And I have been stressing about this for MONTHS now. So much so that I have had a monster headache that no pain pill could cure (trust me I tried) until I talked to my mom yesterday. You see the real stresser is that my mom lives 2 1/2 hours from me now so I can't just go to her house then my dad's and back, if I go to her house, I'm there for the night.  And this is the second Thanksgiving without my Mimi (my dad's mom) so I want to be there. I feel I should mention this little side note, my parents don't get along and haven't since the divorce over 20 years ago....so hence my stress. I want to be with both of them and please both of them b/c I geniunely love them.  If I go to my dad's I can see my sister who is a Freshman at the University of Southern Mississippi and if I go to my mom's I can see my brother who is a Senior in high school.  So what to do, especially when dad tells me lunch is at 1:30.

Very calmly last week I asked my mom if we could do dinner instead of lunch (this would allow me to go to dad's and travel to her house to spend the night) and I got a response of...sure....now I know I'm reading more into this response b/c I think my mom is upset (I have a huge problem with doing this) so I start to freak out and panic.  Well I really shouldn't have b/c when my mom said "sure" she really meant "sure, that's cool with me". Whew!!!

I talked to mom yesterday and she is perfectly happy with doing dinner and totally excited that myself, my sister-in-law and my brother will all be spending the night with her, even if it's just one night.  So this revelation has lifted a HUGE burden off of my shoulders that I didn't realize I had placed there. Not my parents but myself! By focusing so much on what would please them I didn't realize that just my presence there would please them.  As long as I'm there, they don't care who I see first.  Wow.  So now my headache has subsided and I'm actually looking forward to Thanksgiving.

I have much to be thankful for and I give thanks for it everyday, but this year will be different.

Happy Thanksgiving
Courtney :)

Breathe

This is something I wrote a couple of years ago while my brother was in Iraq.....thought I'd share it.

I

t always surprises me when things happen out of the blue whether they are for the good or bad it still gets to me. Take for instance recently I was worried about a ton of things and completely stressed out. I was so stressed out that for the first time in over 2 years my cycle was off schedule. I was stressed about taking final exams, and then stressed about what my grades would be, then stressed about work, and then about finding another place to live. And on top of that stress I was still stressed about my brother, so I ask you how in the heck did I make it through all that stress to where I am right now without some heavy drinking?  Well let me tell you what I think happened….I just gave up, I told myself not to worry about it that things would work out and everything would fall into place. And miraculously enough things DID fall into place. A couple of days after my finals my roommate and I signed a lease on a new house, I passed BOTH finals and got a B+ in both classes.  My work started to become more organized and less chaotic and my brother is coming home!

I

 know growing up your parents always tell you to put faith in God and that He will get you through it. You know that famous saying “If God brings you to it, He’ll bring you through it”. Well I was chanting that saying for over a month and eventually I began to believe it and the worry just seemed to drop from my shoulders. Of course I’m still worried but not nearly as much as I was before and it is just an amazing feeling. To walk outside on a beautiful day and realized that I have NOTHING to do but enjoy God’s beauty and I find that so amazing and something that I think everyone should try.  One beautiful summer day just walk outside and breathe (of course if you’re in the South that may be difficult depending on the humidity).  I can honestly say that there is nothing that I have experienced yet so rewarding as walking outside on a beautiful summer day and just standing there and enjoying God’s beauty.  Or better yet taking a drive and see His beauty.

R

ecently my friends and I drove to Nashville, TN to celebrate my birthday and that was possibly one of the most beautiful drives ever.  We live in Mississippi so we headed north and passed all of this beautiful hill country and it just took my breath away. The drive was so peaceful that once we got outside of Nashville we started looking at the clouds and tried to guess what they looked like. Ya’ll we are grown women and we did this!! It felt so great to just act like a kid again and I think that as adults we forget how to just have fun. Now I know many adults who have fun but they need some kind of influence to have fun or money to spend to have fun.  Having fun like a kid can be free, all you need is your imagination and the world is your play ground.

T

his is probably one of the things wrong with our country today (among many other things). We have forgotten how to have fun and we have forgotten what is really important in life.  Instead of having fun we rush through the day trying to be better, make more money, sale more things, buy more things, be more, experience more, work more….just more and in all it is killing us.  It may sound corny but we have forgotten how to stop and smell the roses and until we learn to stand back and just breathe then our nation will continue to just float away from us.

I

’m not a big religious person, but I am becoming more and more spiritual. Heck at my age as a woman in the South you can’t be single and not have some sort of spirituality otherwise you’ll go crazy! Especially when you start noticing people younger than you having their 2^nd child! I mean that will really knock you for a loop if you don’t have something spiritual to remind you that God has a plan for you and that everything happens for a reason.  It’s times like these when I have to keep reminding myself that I should just let the cards fall where they may but I mean man that is tough!  Being single in Mississippi is rare! There are not that many people who are my age that are single let alone single men! And it’s times like that when I tell myself that I should have stayed in Texas at least then the odds are in my favor! Lol! but seriously it gets really tiring telling myself that there is someone out there for me and God is going to bring us together when He feels like I’m ready, b/c all I can think is that I’m ready now! Shoot I’m not getting any younger!

S

ee this is an instance where I have to tell myself to just Breathe! So when you feel life is starting to get to complicated and you see yourself envying other people for what they have and what you don’t have, just take a step back and breathe. Remind yourself of all the good things you have in your life b/c no matter how crappy you think things are, there is ALWAYS something good. Whether it be kids, a pet, a place to live, food, clothes on your back, food in your pantry, a job, a car, or whatever. You have something that not everyone has you have something that no one has so just be thankful and give thanks to whatever God you believe in, because not everyone has one or all of those things. But everyone has one thing in common and that is the ability to Breathe!

New Dessert

Ok so every year at work for Thanksgiving we have a Pot Luck Lunch and everyone is asked to sign up to bring something and the boss buys the turkey and dressing.  In the past I have brought cream cheese pies which are AMAZING and take no time at all to make.  Well this year I decided to do something different and looked up recipes online and found one that I thought would be soooo yummy its called Mile High Peanut Butter-Brownie Pie! YUM!  I found it here....http://www.pillsburybaking.com/Recipes/Details.aspx?recipeID=5258&mealtype=32

Anyway, it took like no time to bake it and I am so excited to taste it. I have gotten great reviews on the look and have people's mouth's drooling so we will see. The lunch is today and will probably start around 11. Can't wait. 

Here are some pictures of my creation (I changed it up some, but not much)

Courtney :)


Ok so lunch is complete and my pie is GONE!!! I mean it was gone QUICK! I barely got a piece of it. I will tell you that it is absolutely delicious!! I have given the recipe to at least 4 people so far. YUM!! I strongly recommend this dessert!